ZooCrew Unfornication Progress 0% - T-shirt
Ah, yes. Behold the masterpiece that is “Zoo Crew:
Unfornication Progress: 0%”. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the absolute cacophony of choices that came together here like a creative car crash in the middle of a jungle-themed rave. Let’s break it down:
- ZOO CREW — Because nothing says high-octane action like bold, bloated letters flanked by more palm trees than a discount tiki bar. We’ve got a pyramid, jungle vines, and inexplicably aggressive typography. Indiana Jones is quaking.
- UNFORNICATION — A word that technically doesn’t exist, but somehow manages to imply a reverse process that absolutely no one asked for. We’re not just stopping fornication—we’re rolling back the entire firmware of horniness. Stunning.
-Progress: 0% — A cold, hard admission that literally nothing has been achieved. Zero. Zilch. But boldly advertised in yellow bubble letters like it’s a high score. Inspiring.
- And that red stamp: “UNFORNICATED – UNFUCK YOURSELF – SINCE 2024” — Like a bureaucratic badge of shame, proudly declaring your total lack of… well, you know. It’s official now, folks. There’s a seal.
More details
- 100% combed cotton
- Marles color is 85% cotton and 15% viscose
- Fabric weight: 5.3 oz./yd.² (150.25 g/m²)
- Yarn diameter: 28 singles
- Pre-shrunk
- Regular fit
- Crew neck
- Side-seamed construction
- Double-needle topstitch on the sleeves and hem
- Ribbed collar
- Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
- Tear-away label
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Unfornicated
- Email: unfornicated-shop@support.fourthwall.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
ZooCrew Unfornication Progress 0% - T-shirt Size Guide
| Size label | A | B |
|---|---|---|
|
S
|
28
|
18 1/2
|
|
M
|
29 1/2
|
20 1/2
|
|
L
|
31
|
22.25
|
|
XL
|
32.25
|
24
|
|
2XL
|
33
|
25.23
|
|
3XL
|
33 1/2
|
26.75
|