Declassified Hoodie
The Unfornicated Files: Declassified Hoodie — Cold-Weather Clearance Required
This isn’t just a hoodie. It’s your official uniform for digging through the vault of history, hoaxes, and hilariously bad takes.
The Unfornicated Files: Declassified hoodie is built for late-night livestreams, deep dives into declassified chaos, and sarcastic commentary on the nonsense humanity pretends is fact. Whether you’re debunking moon-landing denial from your couch or dropping truth bombs in a chilly classroom, this hoodie keeps you warm while the takes stay ice cold.
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Back: The Declassified seal—bold, blocky, and stamped like a blacked-out government memo you’re not supposed to see.
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Front: The Unfornicated logo over the heart, because that’s where the truth lives (and also your caffeine supply).
Made for the skeptics.
Worn by the curious.
Feared by misinformation.
Specs:
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Midweight fleece: Warm enough to withstand the cold war of bad ideas
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Perfect for layering truth over bullshit
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Designed for durability—because misinformation doesn’t take a day off
Slip it on. Crack open the files.
And remind the world: some secrets are stupid.
The rest? We’re digging up on-air.
More details
- 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester
- Charcoal Heather is 60% ring-spun cotton, 40% polyester
- Carbon Grey is 55% ring-spun cotton, 45% polyester
- Heavyweight fabric (8.5 oz)
- Regular fit but can run a bit tight
- Unisex sizing
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Unfornicated
- Email: unfornicated-shop@support.fourthwall.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, bisphenols and phthalates level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
Declassified Hoodie Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
S
|
27
|
20
|
|
M
|
28
|
21
|
|
L
|
29
|
23
|
|
XL
|
30
|
25
|
|
2XL
|
31
|
26
|
|
3XL
|
32
|
28
|