ZooCrew Unfornication Progress 0% - Mug
Ah, yes. Behold the masterpiece that is “Zoo Crew: Unfornication Progress: 0%”. Let’s take a moment to appreciate the absolute cacophony of choices that came together here like a creative car crash in the middle of a jungle-themed rave.
Let’s break it down:
• ZOO CREW — Because nothing says high-octane action like bold, bloated letters flanked by more palm trees than a discount tiki bar. We’ve got a pyramid, jungle vines, and inexplicably aggressive typography. Indiana Jones is quaking.
• UNFORNICATION — A word that technically doesn’t exist, but somehow manages to imply a reverse process that absolutely no one asked for. We’re not just stopping fornication—we’re rolling back the entire firmware of horniness. Stunning.
• Progress: 0% — A cold, hard admission that literally nothing has been achieved. Zero. Zilch. But boldly advertised in yellow bubble letters like it’s a high score. Inspiring.
• And that red stamp: “UNFORNICATED – UNFUCK YOURSELF – SINCE 2024” — Like a bureaucratic badge of shame, proudly declaring your total lack of… well, you know. It’s official now, folks. There’s a seal.
(Text by Michaela)
More details
- Ceramic
- 11 oz mug dimensions: 3.79″ (9.6 cm) in height, 3.27″ (8.3 cm) in diameter
- 15 oz mug dimensions: 4.69″ (11.9cm) in height, 3.35″ (8.5 cm) in diameter
- Dishwasher and microwave safe
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Unfornicated
- Email: unfornicated-shop@support.fourthwall.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Don't heat liquids or food directly in the mug—it can damage the coating. Meets the lead 2 year warranty in EEA and UK
Size & Fit
11 oz
- Height: 3.79″ (9.6 cm)
- Diameter: 3.27″ (8.3 cm)
15 oz
- Height: 4.69″ (11.9cm)
- Diameter: 3.35″ (8.5cm)
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.